BELIEVERS NEWS MAGAZINE

In a world where a woman's acceptance so often seems contingent on her looks, behavior or talents, does anyone love her simply for who she is? Debora M. Coty answers that question with a resounding "yes" in her new book, Too Loved to Be Lost: Discovering God's Intentional, Unconditional, Without-Limits Love.

Q: The subtitle of Too Loved to Be Lost is "discovering God's intentional, unconditional, without-limits love."Why did you want to bring a message about God's love to women?

I believe women today spend a lot of time feeling taken advantage of, judged unfairly and accepted only within certain boundaries. The love we receive often seems conditional—based on our looks, behavior, talents or achievements—rather than who we are inside our skin. With the threat of losing acceptance breathing down our necks, our sense of security crashes and burns as our looks fade, we experience failure, our talents become rusty or ineffective, our achievements wane due to constant stress, the aging process or some other factor beyond our control. We need to know—really KNOW—there is One who doesn't condemn or critique us, but instead loves, forgives and accepts us—quirks, meltdowns, zits and all.    

Q: You say many of the women you've met view God as a "stern entity with a huge frown and a big stick." Why do you think they see God in that way?

The perspective of an impersonal, judgmental god standing by to smite us to smithereens when we mess up is often based on harsh childhood experience we've had with an angry father, relentless coach or strict teacher. I think society at large tends to reinforce that way of thinking by expounding the philosophy that "the good go to heaven (get rewarded) and the bad go to hell (get punished)." Unfortunately, many people buy into this behavior-based theology and completely eliminate the crucial faith elements of Papa God's grace and forgiveness.

Sure, our heavenly Father is holy and just. He's righteous and wants us to be too. But that doesn't make Him a mean ole hulking principal stalking the halls with a big paddle. That is so not our loving Papa God.

Q: In Too Loved to Be Lost, you use a travel theme to illustrate life's journey. Why did you choose that thread to weave through this book?

The first and most obvious reason is the word "lost" in the title. I'm directionally challenged in the worst way to the point where Olivia (my Aussie-voiced GPS) keeps her metallic panties in a wad. She has taken to adding, "What in the WORLD were you thinking?" after the third "Recalculating." I once thought I heard her mutter, "Crimey. Just go home!"

The second reason is I believe most women experience the hopeless, helpless feeling of lostness at some point in their lives, perhaps after a devastating loss, severe disappointment or disillusionment with life. They lose their heart-compass and find themselves wandering in the spiritual desert without purpose or direction, or they may feel they're drowning in the relentless everyday stress-pool of life and can't locate the ladder.

I wrote Too Loved to be Lost to help support and encourage my girlfriends through those lost times with simple, easy-to-follow steps for joining hands and hearts and, with a little help from heaven, to recalculate their route to a lush, peaceful place where they can feel, enjoy and revel in Papa God's unending love.        

Q: Have you ever had a moment where you felt completely lost? How did God come through for you?

Absolutely. More than once. Even on a single day.

Then there were several lost times that swallowed months and even years before I found my true heart-path again. One of these that I've spoken of in several of my books was the deep depression that followed six heart-wrenching miscarriages. My wounds were so painful and raw that I distanced myself from the Lord and my faith for two long desert years, during which I felt completely alone and utterly lost. At my lowest point, He reached down to me with His customized tender mercies and gently began chipping away at the rock that was my heart until it was finally replaced with a feeling heart of flesh (Ezek. 36:26). I believe Papa God allows detours to happen in our faith journeys to show us deeper and higher facets of his limitless love.    

Q: Women have a tendency to try to do it all and can be susceptible to burnout. What are some ways women can counteract the effects of burnout?

The bill will now go back to the House of Commons for a review, though the Associated Press reported that is likely to go without a problem, as the House of Commons passed the bill earlier, 390 to 148.

If signed into law, same-sex couples will be allowed to have both civil and religious ceremonies in England and Wales. The Church of England, which has opposed gay marriage and often spoken out against it, will be banned from performing ceremonies.

"It's impossible to express how much joy this historic step will bring to tens of thousands of gay people and their families and friends," said Ben Summerskill, chief executive of gay rights group Stonewall, according to The Telegraph.

  I've mentioned before on BreakPoint the cruel game I sometimes play when I speak to Christian students.
I'll give a quiz on pop culture, with questions such as who sang this song, and who starred in this movie, and so on. As you might expect, the students get 100 percent on this quiz every time. But then, without breaking stride, I'll throw in a Bible question like "Who was the lead character in II Samuel?"-and you can just hear the crickets chirping. Look, when Christians know far more about entertainment trivia than the Bible, we've got a problem. And it's ironic, given we have more access to the Bible than any other time in history. According to the American Bible Society, the average household has 4.3 copies of the Bible. This doesn't even count the ones on our smart phones and iPads, or the pew pockets in every church. We've even personalized the Bible for every possible life situation: we've got the Teen Bible, the Women's Bible, the Dad's Bible, the Leadership Bible...you name it. And yet Gallup has dubbed the United States "a nation of biblical illiterates." Paul Caminiti of Biblica, a ministry that promotes Bible engagement, offers three reasons for scriptural illiteracy: (1) We fragment the Bible into little bits that we then yank out of the Scripture and personalize. (Phillip Yancey refers to these bits as "moral McNuggets.") (2) We don't understand the history or context of Scripture passages, so we miss or manipulate the full meaning that it communicates. And (3) we read it alone; we've stopped reading the Bible in community. Well, Biblica has decided to confront these problems. Over the years, we've added a lot to the Bible: a new order for the books, two columns, study notes and lots of divisions – chapters, verses, and paragraphs. And this impacts how we read it. The two columns make it look long and different than other books; the chapters and verses, which were intended just to help us navigate the text, tempt us to break up the text.